Who’s In Your Circle?

When I teach our middle school group about friendships, I usually use the imagery of circles to help explain the idea of intimacy and influence.

As shown in the above image, we have three main circles: close friends, friends, acquaintances. I teach this for a few reasons. First off, people belong in certain circles and they get smaller for a reason. Not everyone should make it to the inner circle and not everyone should stay there. Second, all circles have value and influence in our life, but the people closest to us have the biggest influence on us.

I think this imagery is so helpful because it causes us to reflect on who sits in each circle. I remember my own youth pastor telling me, “Your friends are your future.” I don’t think I realized at the time the weight that statement held. I can look back on seasons of my life where my heart wandered from the Lord, and without fail - every time - my close friends circle looked different than it should. In addition, every season I have been closest to the Lord my inner circle has been filled with 3-5 spiritually strong and lovingly honest people who push me to be better.

I love the book of Proverbs because so often it is almost painfully direct. This book of wisdom tells it like it is and hits home when we’re struggling to be wise. Proverbs 18:24 says,

"One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

Our community does dictate our future. Of course it is great to have friends from many different walks of life. How will we ever share the Gospel if we only associate with those who think like us? But it is crucial that our innermost circle, those that are giving us important advice in the challenges of our life, live in a way that will point us to Christ. In a society that so often separates and lives in surface-level, shallow relationships, as Christians we are called to something deeper. A kind of community that will lovingly point out our sin, but sticks around to walk with you through it. We are called to a kind of community that fosters confession, support, encouragement, and prayer.

What does your community look like? What do your circles look like? Do you have people who will be honest with you when you’re falling into sin? Does your inner circle uphold the values you do, or will they cause you to “come to ruin” like the Proverb says?

Maybe it’s a good time to reevaluate some peoples’ place in those circles and prayerfully consider how you might have a community that makes it possible for you to go farther together.

I love the example of a godly friendship we have in Timothy and Paul. The New Testament tells us of their missionary journeys and the time they spent sharing the Gospel together. Paul writes these words to Timothy in a letter to him,

I thank God, whom I serve, as my ancestors did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy. I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.

- 2 Timothy 1:3-5

I pray we would all find people that we could write words like this about.

Don’t go it alone - find strong people to walk with you, through the good times and the bad.

Cristina Schmitter

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