Sex As Marriage

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother

and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh.”

- Jesus, Matthew 19:4-6a

Pam and I have the privilege of sitting down with couples as they plan for their wedding and marriage, and I have the privilege of sitting down with men who are already married.

Many (actually, most) couples, not yet married, have already come together sexually, but that does not prevent us from challenging them to prayerfully consider sexual abstinence from the date of our meeting until their wedding night. We ask them to make that commitment for two reasons:

1. Because we understand it to be what the Bible teaches, and
2. It makes their wedding night that much more fun.

When Jesus shared His words in Matthew 19, He was referring back to God’s plan from the beginning, that a man and woman would come together in marriage, with the true manifestation of that being the joining of two lives physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. The two become one - two lives intimately intertwined with one another.

When sex occurs before or outside of marriage, it undermines what God established as the beautiful picture of a marriage relationship.

And the same holds true for men and women engaged in pornography. Pornography is sex and it undermines God’s plan for marriage. It destroys the true intimacy between a husband and wife.

I once had a man come to me and say, “I look at pornography all the time and I don’t see a problem with it. Who am I hurting?” I could have gone into all the perils of that industry, including the way women are objectified, and even talked about human trafficking, but I simply looked at him and asked, “Do you want other men looking at your daughter the way you look at those women?” It stopped him in his tracks.

You can call me old-fashioned, or even say the Bible is out-of-touch with modern-day culture, but here is the truth: God knew before the foundations of the earth, long before the Bible was written, how sex would be something beautiful and intimate within the context of marriage, and how it would destroy people and relationships outside the context of marriage. He knows, because He created it, and He created it for good - within the context of a marriage relationship.

God knew… No, He knows how sex makes two become one.

If you are struggling with sexual wholeness, I encourage you to seek help before it destroys you and damages your relationships. You’ll be glad you did.

Pastor Ken