An Opportunity To Forgive

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

- Ephesians 4:32

Throughout Scripture, we are frequently reminded to forgive, not from our own strength, but because Christ forgave us first. These verses are easy to quote and look great on a wall hanging or decorative pillow. But in the real, on-your-knees, ugly-crying moments of pain, it’s hard to read these sentiments with a grin.

Think back to the last time you were really hurt by someone. Whether it was a complete surprise or the last straw in a predictable pattern, we all have been devastated by words or choices or trauma. It’s in those dark moments, gripping our stomachs, silently sobbing into the pillow, that verses like Ephesians 4:32 can be hard to hear.

But I have good news, friends! Something that I learned from an incredible book called “Forgiving What You Can’t Forget” by Lisa TerKeurst. We are called to forgive, but God doesn’t ask us to do it in our own power or strength. Instead, He invites us to rely on His forgiveness and allow His blood to cover the things that still keep us up at night.

For a long time, I assumed forgiveness had to happen when I was ready, once all of my emotions had been resolved. It didn’t take long for me to realize that some hurts will never completely resolve. So then, how do we forgive? Perhaps, our emotions aren’t the guide. Instead, the Holy Spirit is the Leader in forgiveness. He goes before us. Comforts us. Give us overwhelming peace. And when we don’t feel peace... when we can’t forget... when the anger bubbles up again... we run back to Him, and He reminds us: His blood covers it all.

Forgiveness isn’t really about the other person. It’s about freeing yourself from holding the weight of the pain. Freeing yourself from the bitterness and resentment. And preventing a future where you take that hurt out on other people.

In that amazing book TerKeurst writes, “For now, I realize the hurt that passed through them to me is a more epic moment of opportunity than I ever realized. That hurt can either pass through me and be unleashed on others. Or, it can be stopped by me, right here, right now. The world can become a little darker or a little brighter by the choice I make in this moment.” (Forgiving What You Can’t Forget, page 53)

When we experience hurt, we have an opportunity. We can let the bitterness fester. We can take it out on others. Or we can let the pain stop with us, and we can forgive as Christ forgave us. It isn’t easy, but you don’t have to do it alone.

How will you deal with your hurt?

Cristina Schmitter

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