Enjoy

"Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun."

- King Solomon, Ecclesiastes 9:9

"As long as you're going to be married for the rest of your life, you might as well enjoy it."

- Bill Bright

OK, I'm going to go out on a limb and just say it - marriage should be enjoyable! In fact, I believe every friendship should have a joy quotient that far exceeds the misery quotient in that relationship! Someone said to me the other day, "Relationships are hard… sometimes miserable… but there are things about them that make them worthwhile."

There was something about that that didn't sit right with me, but at the time I could not put my finger on it. However, after thinking about it… ‘cause I always think of the right response like three days later, right?... "Oh, I wish I'd have said that -- That would've been a real zinger!" Nope… never happens. But three days later, I was wishing I would have said this to my friend: "I'm not saying you should expect to be happy, happy everyday in your marriage… but anyone who says that marriage is primarily an ordeal… and that the difficulty is offset by other benefits… is just wrong."

Listen, my marriage is the easiest thing in my life. Other things are hard: unforeseen accidents are hard… crazy drivers on my commute home are hard… a teenage son with a drug or alcohol problem is hard… the death of a loved one is hard… getting Covid is hard… the loss of a business is hard… a personal financial collapse is hard… a world of problems I cannot control is hard… But the one thing that makes all these hard things a little easier to manage is my marriage. And the same can be said for a true friendship. And that's not to say that my marriage - or any marriage for that matter - isn't without challenges… but "hard" should not be your general state of marriage… or friendship!

So, let me tell you what the Bible says about your marriage, and then I'll give you one suggestion for making it fun. By the way… it has nothing to do with sex. (Candace told me to say that.) You remember when you traveled with your kids on a plane and there was that weird moment during the flight instructions when the flight attendant held up the oxygen mask and said, "In the event we lose all the air in the cabin… before you place an oxygen mask on your child to save their life… put the oxygen mask on your face first to save your life." And Sarah, who was like six at the time said, "Really Daddy? Really? Would you save yourself before me?" And I said, "Well sweetheart… it would be really hard to save you if I was dead."

The whole point about building a marriage or a friendship that generates joy is because the life that flows out of that relationship gives life to all those connected to it!

Let's look at what the smartest man who ever lived had to say about Marriage. In Ecclesiastes 9:7-9, King Solomon said…

Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do. (v.7)

The point is: God approves of your marriage and desires it to be a source of joy for you.

Always be clothed in white, and always anoint your head with oil." (v.8)

The point is: "clothed in white" refers to both the husband and wife doing their personal business with Jesus to both own and seek forgiveness for their individual sins. "Anoint one's head with oil" refers to the honor and the value you always place upon one another as God’s gift.

Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun - all your meaningless days. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil. (v.9)

The point is: Life is short! Life is hard… but your marriage should be a source of mutual joy that strengthens you for life's challenges. The word for "meaningless" is "Hebel" -- it means "fleeting". You wake up on a December morning, step outside, you take a breath, you exhale, you see your breath… then it's gone… fleeting.

Solomon is saying that life is like that… it moves really fast. Anybody been married for awhile and you find yourself wondering, "Man, when did the kids get so grown up… and when did Candace get so gray (Actually Lady Clairol keeps it looking nice and blond...smile)... But when did I go bald… I mean just yesterday I had a head of hair like John Travolta… oh, wait a minute… he's bald now too… Geeesh! And the holidays come and go so fast… "What, wasn't Thanksgiving just here?"

So, here's what Solomon is saying: Because life is so fast, set up a regular date night with your spouse… go out and eat some good food… find a delightful beverage to share… forgive each other's sins… value the gift God gave you in one another… have some fun… make some memories… laugh a lot… and become best friends!

Marriage is enjoyable because it's all about having fun with your best friend! The Apostle Paul called husbands to love their wives like Christ loved the church. In John 15, Jesus called His disciples friends. So, you could translate Paul's verse by saying, "Husbands, be friends with your wives like Jesus is a good friend to the church." Listen… husbands… wives… your nearest and dearest friend, your first human friend, your closest friend, your best friend is supposed to be your spouse. God said it's not good to be alone… and His answer was marriage.

So, want to enjoy your marriage? Work on your friendship… first with Jesus… and then with one another! AMEN

Pastor Harry

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