Relational Growth

I am blessed to be a father.

It is really something I had no idea how fulfilling it would be in my life. As expected, being a father has changed my life in so many unique ways.

I am also personally blessed to not only be a father to my son, but also to my step children who are significantly older. This experience has been such a change in perspective to watch each child in their unique stages of life, and in different homes, to be really honest. Through these experiences, I’ve naturally started to see even more profound glimpses of God and His unconditional love.

Fatherhood can look like many different things to some people. Some of us grew up with fathers, some with father figures, or some no father at all. No matter what that experience was, or is, in your life, ironically they can all have ups and downs as all relationships do, especially the really close ones, like family.

It’s interesting how the people we care for and love the most require so much attention and honestly, work, to maintain and grow to be healthy. Obviously, there are so many joys and rewards that make these relationships all worth it, but at times, it can feel like an unsustainable way of life… if any of you can relate.

Because of our human nature, our relationship (or lack thereof) with God can in many ways be similar.

God does indeed want and invites us into an intimate relationship with Him, yet it can be difficult to understand how to do that here on earth. Through the hardships of life, it’s tempting to start to question God about why things play out the way they do. Feelings of unfairness, cruelty, or just not being seen or heard, can easily conform into an overall blame shift to God.

In a similar fashion, I know my son can sometimes become frustrated with me as his father when things don’t happen the way he feels it should. Fundamentally, he is not understanding why some areas of his life have limits - limits that help protect and nurture his growth. At times, my son thinks he is ready to push the limit when he is not. I, myself, think that sometimes he is ready to push a limit, when he is not.

When these dynamics occur, the mental light bulb switches on and I’m reminded that we are all children of God and He engages us as a Father, regardless of our misunderstandings of Him.

The Bible says:

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

- Ephesian 6:4

While it can be easy to get lost in the magnitude of who God is as a sovereign ruler of the universe, and all the theology that comes with it, the Bible many times gives much simpler concepts to help us continue to understand Him and life overall. One of those concepts I’m really thankful for is God the Father. God is a protector, a provider, an instructor, and  a disciplinarian, some of the key characteristics that define a father, according to this Bible verse.

Remember that we are all finite beings, and God has created us with limits through specific stages of life. For example, sometimes God does not want us to have knowledge of certain things. Those things can be mysteries that He wants to reveal in your life when God feels the timing is right. This is God showing characteristics of a father’s heart, that helps us grow into where He is calling us.

I know I would most likely start showing up in the world differently having total knowledge of what people will say, what they think of me, or if I am able to see what happens in the future. My life wouldn’t require much faith in the end.

As we continue to develop a spiritual relationship with God, those developments will manifest into how we show up in this world. Remember that although God can reveal Himself as a parental figure, He is ultimately unlike an earthly parent having infinite resources. We can rely on God’s heart and character for us as His children.

Therefore, we should lean into that model, so that we may grow and equip whoever God puts in our life to raise up.

Jacob Cruz

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