Stop Looking In The Rearview Mirror

May 26, 2023

We all have those sayings our parents used to repeat that stuck with us.

Those phrases we would roll our eyes at when we were kids, but at a certain point, realized were incredibly accurate. The worst part is when one day your wife looks at you after repeating that exact phrase and says, “You sound just like your father!” To which I respond, “Well, at least we know if I stay on this path, I’ll be a great father, and I’ll have a little less hair in the next 30 years.”

After being married for less than six months, I was sharing with my parents how hard it was to talk about our finances. I always thought that topic would be easy, but I quickly figured out it would take some time for Anna and I to get on the same page with money. As I was sharing my “If only…” and “I wish we had just…” comments, I ended the conversation by saying, “You don’t know what you don’t know.” There it was. The sentence I had heard my entire childhood coming out of my mouth.

You don’t know what you don’t know.

You see, so many of us live life in the rear view mirror. We are constantly giving our attention to what has passed, wishing we had shown up differently, only to find that by the time we come back to reality, we’ve already missed another opportunity to show up well.

Think of it this way:

After losing a game, usually a football team would watch back different parts of the game to revisit mistakes and hopefully learn from them. But what if instead of practicing and perfecting the plays, they just sat everyday watching the video wishing they’d played differently? How would they show up to the next game? Just knowing what you did could have been better isn’t as helpful as making small steps each day to improve how you play.

That’s our walk with Jesus. We don’t know what we don’t know.

We are going to fall short and discover new and better ways to live like Him.

But we can’t spend each waking moment wishing we had been more like Jesus. We have to shift into asking how we will live more like Him.

John 15:1-4 says this:

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.”

- John 15:1-4

Jesus is implying that the fruit of the Spirit is a product of time, remaining, and consistency. The scriptures say Jesus is the vine and we are the branches, remain in Him and you will bear much fruit. However, you and I live like John 15 says: “I am the grocer, you are the shopper. If you visit my store you can buy fruit.”

We believe that God will just hand us a portion of peace when we frantically ask for it in desperation. But the work of the Holy Spirit is to be with us daily as we remain in Christ to slowly, steadily, become more like Jesus.

What if instead of spending time wishing we knew then what we know now, we started to live each day with the same grace for ourselves that Jesus freely gave on the cross, and started to wake up with a desire to simply remain in Jesus?

You don’t know what you don’t know today, but if you remain in Christ today, you will know more about how to live like Him tomorrow. Faith is not a sprint, and faith is not a competition for perfection. Faith is a long obedience in a single direction toward holiness where the Spirit of God is at work in us each moment of each day.

Take your eyes off the rear view mirror, and start looking in front of you for what God wants to teach you, reveal to you, and transform in you today.