The Backyard

"So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other, just as I have loved you, you should love each other."

- Jesus, John 13:34

"I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough."

- Nicolas Sparks, "The Notebook"

After nearly every sermon I ever delivered on the subject of God's Love, Candace would greet me at the front door, smile, and say, "Now remember, Sweetheart… that all needs to start in your own backyard." It's a mystery to me why we tend to lower our standards first with those who matter most to us. Ever been accused of being kinder and more forgiving with a co-worker or a neighbor or a friend than your own family? I've noticed how, for parents, over time, the more kids they have the lower their standards become. Take hygiene. With the first child, if a pacifier falls on the ground, the mom will pick it up, put boiling water on the stove, sterilize the pacifier, air dry it, let it cool down… then slowly and carefully put it back in the child's mouth. With the second child, if the pacifier falls on the ground, mom will pick it up, hold it under warm tap water, wash it with soap, dry it off with a paper towel, and place it back in the child's mouth. With the third child, if the pacifier falls on the ground, mom will pick it up, spit on it, wipe it off on her shirt, stick it back in the child's mouth and say, "Five Second Rule!"

We have a way of lowering our standards to deal with reality. God does not! Jesus put it this way: "Be perfect, therefore, as your Heavenly Father is perfect." (Matthew 5:48). The word, "perfect" here, as Jesus used it, does not mean perfectionistic or nitpicky. It means to be wholly and completely something… like totally truthful, or completely compassionate, or absolutely generous, or wholly loving.

When it comes to Love, Jesus never lowered His standards, for anyone. In fact, time and time again, Jesus would get up under someone's burden and lighten it… thereby raising the standard of love higher than it had ever been before.

Remember, in the Upper Room, when Jesus said that the Father had given Him all power and authority… and then in the next instant, Jesus takes off His outer garment and kneels down and washes each of the disciples' feet. "No! No! No!" the disciples protested, "We should be washing your feet!" But Jesus says, "I am giving you an example..." of how to love -- that the more power you have, the more authority you have, the more you should be leveraging your strength, your resources, your time, your gifts to get up under the burden of those in your own backyard and making it lighter… for the sake of Jesus! Talk about a game-changer!

So what does that look like? The most powerful relational dynamic in your family starts with one wonderful question: "What can I do to help?" If everybody in the family asked that question at least one time a day, your family dynamic would change forever. Imagine…

...Your dad comes up to you, looks you in the eye, and says, "I'm all yours… how can I help you?" Wow!

...Your sister knocks on the door of your room and says, "Hey brother… anything I can do to help you out?" What?!

...Your teenager walks into the kitchen after school and asks, "Mom… how can I help you?" Unbelievable!

...Your son walks into the living room when you have guests over and asks, "Hey Dad, anything I can do to help?" Whoa!

The reason this is so revolutionary is because, let's be honest, it's mostly all about me! So whatta ya say we raise the standard of Love… Jesus Style… and say, "I'm here for you."

Oh… and let's start in our own backyard!

Pastor Harry

‍