The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’

30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’

- Matthew 18:21-33

Y’all, I experienced my biggest hurt about two years ago from my biological father. You see, I didn’t grow up knowing my father or having a relationship with him. Actually, I met him for the first time when I was 31!  I had prayed up until that point that God would help me to know more about my father’s side of the family, and He answered that prayer, and I’m so grateful.

While we began building a relationship later in life, I was thankful that I was beginning to know my earthly father. And what I learned during that time was that there were many social and cultural differences between us. You see, my father is from Saudi Arabia and is a devout Muslim. But, years ago we agreed that we would respect each other’s religious differences and place the growth of our father-daughter relationship at the forefront. Until about two years ago - he gave me an ultimatum. I was either to choose him, by denouncing my faith and converting to Islam or remain a Christian and never have contact with him again.

Of course, I chose my faith. But this was a huge hurt in my life. I thought, I waited all these years to know my earthly father and now he is disowning me because I chose my Heavenly Father over him.

I had to dig deep to forgive him. God helped me forgive my dad. God reminded me of who I was before Christ and how I was forgiven for all of it! So who was I to withhold forgiveness from my earthly father? I had to forgive him so that I could be free. I had to forgive him so that I could move forward and not be crippled by the rejection.

I had to forgive because I have been forgiven.

Family, in life, encountering hurt is inevitable. Reflecting on the most painful moment in my life, I recall the intentionality it took for me to activate my faith and forgive my dad. You see, we don’t forgive because the other person deserves it. We forgive because we have been forgiven. We forgive because God has called us to. We forgive so that we can walk in freedom from offense and hurt. Some of you may be holding onto unforgiveness. I encourage you, in this moment, to forgive them. Imagine if God had withheld His forgiveness from us? Where would we be? Let’s not be like the unmerciful servant.

Family, it is time to forgive those who’ve hurt us.

Som Tami

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