Three Little Words

There was nothing more exhilarating than when my kids were young and we would begin to prepare for Easter.

Whether it be finding the perfect Easter dress or tie, shiny new shoes, or creating the perfect Easter eggs, all of it created great excitement. Egg decorating was clearly an art. I always had to make sure that the eggs were boiled correctly (didn’t want an unexpected mess), and begin the search for that old bottle of vinegar that only saw the light of day at Easter time.

Nothing like the smell of vinegar as your kids create small masterpieces.

Oftentimes what started out as a sweet time together could quickly escalate into a heated debate over who got to color the most eggs. Or forgetting to ask politely for someone to pass the smelly dish of purple color dye please, and instead, it ended up spilling all over everything. Without hesistation, I would have to quickly step in – and while cleaning up the mess – ask “someone” to forgive “someone” so that we could return to coloring the eggs. Invariably “the spiller” would utter, "I am sorry,” but strangely the room would grow quiet in waiting for the response of “I forgive you.”

Why can it be so hard to forgive when we are wronged?

Why does it seem that when that moment arrives and we are in a position to forgive, there is hesitation, which can linger. I know in my own heart that at times I have paused and put a timetable and even worthiness on forgiveness. Wow – that hurts to say, but I know I have based it on the level of hurt imparted to me, and to be honest, whether or not I truly wanted to forgive.

One might say… How Pharisaical of you.

One of the Pharisees asked Jesus to have dinner with him, so Jesus went to his home and sat down to eat. When a certain immoral woman from that city heard he was eating there, she brought a beautiful alabaster jar filled with expensive perfume. Then she knelt behind him at his feet, weeping. Her tears fell on his feet, and she wiped them off with her hair. Then she kept kissing his feet and putting perfume on them.

When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know what kind of woman is touching him. She’s a sinner!”

- Luke 7:36-39

That is it – why we don’t forgive instantly – because, if we depend on how we see others, we will hesitate to forgive and sit in a place of judgment.

Why did they do it? Do they deserve it? Are they worthy? She’s a sinner. Our need to access (Why did you spill the easter egg dye?) prohibits us from simply saying, “I forgive you.” At times, we can even hold on to the offense and use it to make demands, or even worse, control future situations. I am well aware that the tight hold unforgiveness has had on my heart has only hurt me more and prolonged the beauty of restoration.

Friends, we are so fortunate Jesus IS a prophet and knew exactly who this woman was, and he does not hold back on forgiveness when she comes to him:

“I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love.

- Luke 7:47

There it is! Jesus doesn’t waste time accessing the “what -ifs” of her failures, or sit in judgment of her wrongdoings.

As the Pharisees stood by examining the woman and her worth, Jesus was already moving to a place of forgiveness. He didn't need to review the long list of what she had done, or listen to her recite a lengthy monologue as to why – he just knew by her heart and tears that forgiveness was desired and granted.

I need to do this better, to be fully open to receive the true remorse of someone who has hurt me and offer the life changing gift of forgiveness. I don’t want to sit in a holding pattern that stalls the example of unconditional forgiveness Jesus has shown me over and over again. Isn’t that what Easter is all about? A man who understood to his core who he was and what he came to do -- a life, death and resurrection that allowed each of us to hear “You are forgiven.”

Friends, when someone who has hurt you, surrenders their wrongdoing, and utters those three humbling words “I am sorry”, where is your heart?

Are you like one of my kids who wasn’t ready to forgive the spilled purple dye, or like the Pharisee who deemed the woman “too sinful”? If you are anything like me, these moments of hesitation or judgment have obscured the ability to forgive.

But there is hope!

Friends, by letting go of past hurts, pain, mistreatment, unfairness, you can be free to receive the words “I am sorry”, and with a heart like Jesus, offer up life-changing forgiveness.

“I forgive you” could be the three little words that change someone's life today.

Pastor Heidi

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