I Forgive… ME!

There is NOW no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus."

- St. Paul, Romans 8:1 (emphasis added)

"In parenting there is no greater example of the power of Jesus' grace than when a parent apologizes to a child for a mistake they made. Kids don't just learn from our wins… they learn from our losses as well."

- Dr. Reardon

One of the things my kids love to do when the whole tribe gets together is talk about the mistakes I made as a dad. (Smile).

Anybody feel my pain? And believe me… I've given them plenty of material over the years.

Like the time we were on vacation, and as we're walking into a very nice restaurant, I notice that Tyler is barefoot… he's got no shoes on. So, I ask him:

 "Tyler… Where are your shoes?!"

And he looks at me and says, "Ahhh… I forgot to bring any shoes… I left 'em at home."

"What!" I exclaimed. "You forgot your shoes?! How does anyone forget to bring their shoes on a two week vacation?! That's ridiculous!"

I said, "You packed your Spiderman underwear… You packed your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle P.J.s… You made sure to pack all your WWF wrestling   guys… But… You forgot to pack your shoes?! How does that happen?! For Heaven’s sake, Tyler… You should know better! After all... You're 27 years old!"

Ha! Actually, he was only 7 years old… But… the truth is, I lost it! I overreacted. And he took the brunt of my heat!

And even though we all laugh about that today… and I'll smile and say… "Hey! Gimme a break. That was 11 Harry's ago… I've grown and evolved and gotten therapy since then. I'm a less intense person today!" (Smile).

But… between you and I… I sometimes find myself reflecting on those embarrassing moments and asking myself, "What was I thinking?" Anybody know what I'm talking about?

Do you ever find yourself looking back at your earlier selves… at the mistakes you made, some of the stupid things you did in college, some of the dumb things you did as a young husband… a young wife, some of the hurts you created as a parent… or as a son… a daughter… and find yourself asking, "Man! What was I thinking?!"

Here's what I've learned. If there are mistakes in your past that you have buried, or simply refuse to think about because they're too embarrassing or painful to think about… then this is true about you. You are not at perfect peace with yourself. Listen…

Only when we own all the bits and pieces of our earlier selves and can say, "I forgive… ME!"... can we heal and grow and evolve and have peace with ourselves.

When I think about the woman caught in adultery in John 8, I often wonder how she processed all of that later in her life as a woman who was transformed by the grace Jesus gave her that day when He said, "I don't condemn you. Now go… live a wonderful life… and sin no more."

Here's what I think: I don't think she denied it. I don't think she buried it. I think, because of the grace Jesus gave her, she looked back on that and asked herself, "What was I thinking?"

And as she thought about that maybe she said...

 … I was young… grew up in a home that was cold, hard, demanding, with no love...

 … I was lonely, scared, afraid, insecure, unloved...

… when he noticed me, listened to me, treated me with kindness and told me I was beautiful… I gave myself to him...

… I didn't care that he was married. I didn't care that it was wrong… I slept with him… I sinned.

She didn't excuse her sin. She owned it… said to herself… "That was 12 Mary's ago." But, by understanding the reasons behind her mistake, she could extend grace to herself and say, "I forgive… ME!"

You know why I overreacted in anger, all those years back, simply because my young son forgot his shoes?  As I asked myself, "What was I thinking?", I said...

… I felt so much pressure to be the perfect Pastor's family back then...

… I was under so much stress trying to build a new church...

… I was raised by a dad who modeled how to do anger...

… I was afraid of failing… of not being good enough… and that's what kept me on edge and made me sin in my anger.

I don't excuse the sin I did 11 Harry's back… I own it… but by understanding some of the reasons that set me up to sin… I can say, "I forgive… ME!" And that gives me peace with my earlier self. By the way… When I apologized to Ty for my anger way back then, he said, "That's Okay Dad… nobody's perfect except Jesus!" (Smile).

What about you? Have you made peace with your earlier self?

What do you do with your earlier self who did all those crazy insane things? Answer: You clean it up within yourself by asking yourself, "What was I thinking?" And as you think about the very real reasons and pressures and stresses and insecurities that set you up to sin…

You can own your mistake AND extend grace to yourself by whispering, "I forgive… ME!" And that's how you heal, grow, evolve, and find peace with yourself!

AMEN

Pastor Harry

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